Monday, August 29, 2011

Life itself in Writing

    Hello world! It's another dreadful monday morning! I haven't written in a while, because I've been trying to figure out what to write about. So I guess I'll rant and see where this post takes me. :)
    Well, it's back to school soon. Only a few days left. School starts soon and I'm a little nervous, not only because I don't know my teachers. It's the usual beginning of school jitters. It's a bit exciting though too! I've thought a lot about my past years in high school and am looking forward to and hoping for a better year. High school drama hides in every corner. Also, the friend I mentioned a few posts ago that I've lost will be there everyday to remind me what happened. I'm not quite ready to confront her. I know I won't like seeing her because of what happened and how I felt and cried. I feel as though I've been betrayed. The drama will be hard to handle and I'll have to be ready for that.
Walking alone was always one of my weaknesses which was probably why I've always had poor judgement on choosing friends. I've lost many friends in my short life, and though some of it was my faultI never ceased to keep trying. That is one factor in my life that I'm proud of myself for. I've not given up on finding my life long best friend. My father always used to tell me that I probably haven't met my best friend yet. And while that might be true, there are still other people in the world that I can talk to and rely on. Walking alone is my weakness. I hate being alone. Sometimes when I'm angry or I feel pushed away, I alienate myself further so that I can distance my pain and exclusion. And although that might not make any sense, it all makes sense to me. One way or another...   
 Life has a funny way of making sense.

Things happen based on what choices you, me, and others make. We all make mistakes, saying things we don't mean, and forgetting things we never meant to leave behind. We're only human. Sometimes we forget, sometimes we say what we feel, sometimes we say the exact opposite of what we feel, and someone always gets hurt. We've all been on both sides of the street, being the person who says, and being the person who hears it. Life has a funny way of happening. 
Think about life for a moment. This song is the song of the day.
Wrapped in your arms by Fireflight

    Hope you think about life a little bit as I have today. It's important, it's short and it's made up of wonderful people and things that we are all searching for. It's going to be hard, life is. Don't share the same weakness that I do. Don't give up. Don't let go.

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